My Journey After Breast Cancer Surgery

The first 3 days after mastectomy set the tone for my ongoing successful recovery and treatment. This blog is dedicated to all breast cancer survivors whose lives and bodies have been forever changed by modified radical mastectomy. This blog is dedicated to family and friends who stood by my bedside and fought breast cancer with me. Especially, my daughter and sons.

I hope that this blog will encourage women diagnosed early with breast cancer to journal their entire recovery. Writing about the first 3 days after mastectomy was the most healing experience of all. Keep your own " Pink Boxer " journal. Pass it own to your daughter with love.

I remember vividly waking up in the recovery room groggy from anesthesia. After my mastectomy. The smile and careful post-op assessment by my recovery room nurse assured me that she was one of the best. Yet, I felt so lost. Yes, I knew the woman I was when I selected my highly skilled breast surgeon. I knew the woman I was who went through the spiritual, emotional, and mental preparation for the day when my life would change in this unique way.

I just didn't know who this woman was after it was all said and done. After a wonderful career as a Registered Nurse. I am now the patient. More importantly, I was now officially a breast cancer survivor. Forever. This new woman, this new me would be transported back to my hospital room any minute now. Oh, God.

Can I look under the sheets at my Goliath? Breast cancer is already defeated in my mind and spirit. What about this body? It could not possibly be mine. But I have to look before I start my next journey as a breast cancer survivor. Where is my right breast? I have lost a part of me. It feels weird. One of my precious body parts is in the pathology lab, along with the lymph nodes from my right arm. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Who am I if there is a part missing? Will I still be me?

Okay, I did it. I took a long peek. Amazingly, I survived the experience. My right breast is really gone. But I can't cry right now. I am so glad that this invader has been taken somewhere else. Now I wait. Now I heal. But I am not alone. Other women like me, today now post-mastectomy. At that moment, I had already made a critical decision before surgery today. Not only would I survive breast cancer. I would be an overcomer, too. I am now a " Pinkboxer " for life.

I asked myself what was I doing lying in this hospital bed. It must be a dream. Somebody wake me up. IV. Pain. Morphine drip. The right side of my body is different. Oh, yeah. I remember now. I had a right radical modified mastectomy. What's really under those bandages? If my breast cancer surgeon did not leave me some cleavage, I will be furious. God, please give me something to work with. I can still smile. My surgery was a total success and without complications. Thank God. My faith is strong.

My family, full of love, surrounds me. The room is full of pink roses. Just for me. I am special. I feel like a queen. Except for these two drains. I am so happy that my " Buddie " and I went to our local cancer center the week before my surgery. The support there was wonderful. My " Buddie " is my bff. She is more than just a friend. I asked her as a woman to walk with me on my breast cancer journey. This is a place I do not know. Neither does she. This should be really interesting.

There is always one woman who has the strength to walk through fire with you. As friends, we have never really faced a challenge of this nature before. Not like the enormous face of breast cancer. Yet, as women we both have never backed down from a fight. Breast cancer is just a word. A word that has now changed my whole life and that of my family. We walk by faith and not by sight!

I am nauseated from the anesthesia. I am seasick. Nurse, call your nurse! This journey is getting off to a bumpy start. I didn't leave my joy in that OR. I've got to get out of this bed. But I can't get up. I'm hungry. I'm exhausted. Only wrote two barely legible words in my journal:         " Thank God! "

Feeling much better today, but still yucky. Not riding the waves as much with the nausea. However, the breast health nurse advised me the nausea would probably last a bit longer. Oh, yea. The anesthesia. That which took me to twilight. Thank God this hospital has a breast health nurse who can visit me post-mastectomy. Thank God this hospital has an adjacent cancer center.

The breast health nurse came with her professional expertise, a warm smile and bearing gifts. Gifts that would help me in my recovery. I have a copy of my initial pathology report. The findings are extremely hopeful. Every woman who has been diagnosed with breast cancer must receive copies of her initial pathology reports and those later after surgery. The breast health nurse explained the initial results to me. Their is hope for me.

My breast surgeon came to remove the surgical dressings today. I must admit that I have a beautiful incision. I wonder what my scar will look like later. I am blessed to not have had surgical complications. I went in strong. Now I am out and don't really know how strong I really need to be. God will help me. These two drains are annoying. What's that bulge underneath my arm? Lymphadema. Oh, well. Climb on in! Everybody else is in my boat. After he left, I finally shed tears of grief and joy. I made it through. Time to move on, Pinkboxer! Time to move on.

Home tomorrow. I am not just a breast cancer survivor. I am an overcomer, too!

Seven months have passed. No evidence of cancer. Annual mammogram in the fall. It has all seemed like a blur. Someone else's life passing before my eyes in slow motion. I feel like a marathon runner. But exactly where is the finish line for a breast cancer survivor? Somebody keeps moving the line. Always another high hurdle to jump. I am beginning to understand this unique Pinkboxer sisterhood of which I am now a part. I didn't know my own strength. Nor the strength of other women who have walked the path that I have only begun by faith.

All of a sudden, after the mastectomy, I started to meet other women who shared their own unique breast cancer journey. Why had I never noticed them? One was a former colleague who told me that she had a double mastectomy over twenty years ago. I never knew. Her strength became a part of my strength. The Pinkboxer sisterhood. Maybe we should all make a movie. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Breasts. Each one of us with a story to tell. Linked together forever. Because our breasts took a hike. And that trip into the surgical suite changed our lives forever.

It's all about the overcoming. Life itself kept right on moving. Did I really think it would stop just for me? Breast cancer just raised the bar in my life. I never dreamed I would have the ability to benchpress the weight of my initial recovery. I didn't know my own strength. This strength was different. This strength came from a place deep within. For me, God threw me over the ever-changing distance to the finish line.

Pinkboxer keeps moving on. I didn't know my own strength.

I woke up today and realized that I was really here. The first thing I did was to thank God for sparing my life. It did not have to be. I could have not kept that appointment for that annual mammogram. Even after I felt the breat lump. So many women avoid out of fear. A cancer diagnosis does not control your life. Join me in celebrating my first birthday after breast cancer diagnosis.

I know that you are wondering about that one candle on my birthday cake. In my heart, mind, and spirit I feel reborn somehow. This journey has definitely transformed my life in a highly positive way. I know other breast cancer survivors have experienced the same. That is why I celebrate! I celebrate the struggles that I overcame since diagnosis. I celebrate that I have gained strength to face the challenges ahead. I celebrate all of the new doors which have been opened to me since my last birthday. I celebrate that I have gained the courage to run, and not walk through all of them.

I am a worthy adversary against cancer. I pray for many more birthdays to come. And yes, I am buying that pair of pink boxing gloves today. A present to myself. A reminder that I am a fighter. And I will continue my fight to win the battle against breast cancer. Breast cancer survivors, family members, and friends, celebrate with me!